For much of my life, I felt like an outsider.

I believed there was a certain way I was supposed to be—how I should act, what I should say, even what I should want—if I was going to be accepted and belong.

So I tried to fit in.

What I eventually discovered was that the harder I worked to gain acceptance from others, the further I moved away from accepting myself.

That realization became an important part of both my personal journey and my work as a therapist.

Over the years, I’ve seen how many people live with a constant inner critic. They second-guess themselves, worry about what others think, and sometimes change who they are in order to hold on to friendships or relationships.

I understand that struggle because I’ve lived it, too.

Today, much of my work is centered around a belief that has become very important to me:

Belonging begins with belonging to yourself.

That doesn’t mean believing everything we do is right or refusing to grow. We all have behaviors we need to examine and change—especially when they hurt ourselves or others.

Self-acceptance means something different.

It means learning to treat yourself with kindness rather than constant criticism. It means understanding who you are, trusting yourself, and allowing yourself to grow without believing you must become someone else in order to be worthy of love.

My workshops grew out of both my professional experience and my own life experiences. They are designed to help you understand yourself more deeply and make healthier choices in your friendships, your romantic relationships, and—perhaps most importantly—in the relationship you have with yourself.

You don’t have to become someone else to belong.

You can begin by belonging to yourself.